One Foot Wrong
by precious-passenger
Summary: Kurt is haunted by a memory in New York. Rated for mentions of suicide attempt, depression and panic attacks.


Title: One Foot Wrong.

A/N: Something happened today that has shaken me to my very core. I don't know if writing could help it go away. But, this is a desperate man's act. So, forgive the mistakes and all.

Rated for mentions of suicide attempt, depression and panic attacks. You've been warned.

* * *

It's a week after Valentine day and Kurt's more confused about his relationship with Blaine than he ever was. Which was saying something, given the fact that after the breakup there's been a hell of a ride. First it was the silent treatment era, another one when they decided to have a heart to heart that didn't happen, and now they were friends. Or at least that's what Kurt wants to believe. Kurt remembers Blaine and all their Valentine's each more eventful than the last. He feels himself blush at the memory of the most recent one.

So, his mind is entirely on Blaine when he hears his cell phone ring. The phone almost drops and Kurt's hands start to shake badly, making the phone rattle when he sees the name.

_Dave Karofsky._

And it's a miracle Kurt's knees don't give out and he doesn't fall to the floor.

Because in his entire trip down the memory lane, there was one thing his mind failed to remember, possibly because he tried so hard to forget. Well, be careful what you wish for.

He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know who to call. Because today is Dave Karofsky's suicide attempt's _anniversary_. Kurt vividly remembers how Dave's attempt affected him. He was heading to a very dangerous path if he didn't have his families and friends' full and complete reassurances that it wasn't his fault. But it didn't stop the nightmares, the constant stress, the shaking in his legs each time someone called his phone.

Blaine had been the one getting his phone off his clutched hand each night he slept in. Kurt had confessed that he didn't want to miss out on any more calls. Didn't want anyone slip to the darkness because he failed to answer a simple phone call.

_Blaine._

Kurt watches as the phone goes silent in his hands and that time he actually does drop it on the floor. The phone lights up, showing a little message.

_"Hello."_

_"_Hi Dave,_" _Kurt texts back, amazed at how his hands kept functioning.

"_How are you doing?_"

"_I'm good. How about you?_"

His question goes unanswered in the next text, which only features a "_That's good_. _Bye._"

Shaking, rattling was what could comprehend for the next minutes or so. His hands feel so cold but his head feels warm and he's almost sleepy, even though he's pretty sure he won't be able to sleep tonight. Well, not without his pills, that is.

Blaine.

His mind orders him to call Blaine immediately, have him by his side for help. But, Kurt doesn't want to depend on him, or anybody else again. Not when there was nothing left of him to give back.

He bites down on a finger to keep from sobbing...or screaming, he doesn't know which. His resolve breaks when he could barely breathe and he's curled into a ball by his bed.

It takes several long beeps but there's a groan coming from the line.

"B-Blaine?"

And Kurt starts to cry when he hears the familiar voice.

"Kurt? What's wrong?"

Kurt can't sugar coat it. He can't make small talk or ask about how his day has been.

"_He _called."

Immediately comprehension dawned on Blaine and he shifted to the protective bo…friend mode. Shit, shit. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Get on Skype, now!" he more or less ordered. "Don't hang up the phone," he adds as an afterthought.

They listen to each other's breathing as they wait for their laptops to roar back to life. Kurt clicks the phone shut when he sees Blaine's face on the screen and wants to kick himself. Blaine is in his Dalton pajamas. Blaine had been sleeping. But he doesn't have time to think it over as a sob bubbles inside him, making it hard to breathe.

"Kurt," Blaine begs, unsure what to do. "Please don't cry."

"I can't…Make it stop, please. I don't want to remember." The weight of the past is pressing down on his chest like a heavy burden.

He could see Blaine was wracking his brain to do something.

"What makes you grounded? What keeps you sane?" he begs, almost close to tears himself.

"You," it's barely a breath but Blaine hears it. He hears it and it makes his heart break all over again for having a part in shattering this wonderful boy.

"Okay. Imagine me kissing you. Close your eyes. Imagine that night at Mr. Shue's wedding."

"No, not that," Kurt disagrees immediately, a small frown on his face. It would've been adorable if Blaine hadn't seen the shaking get worse. The laptop shook, making it seem like there was an earthquake going on.

"Okay then. Think about last year. Can you remember it?"

"Yeah. You were a sexy pirate," Kurt hiccups and another sob escapes. "Everybody loved you and I was so relieved to see you there," he says remorsefully.

"Imagine the night we had. A normal night, just us. Nothing else. I take your hand and we slow dance to a song that's not even there. We trip over nothing and we land on your bed. You giggle and start taking my shirt off, but I keep wiggling out of your reach and sneak kisses."

Tears kept streaming down Kurt's face but the shaking has stopped. Kurt hasn't opened his eyes. Something tells Blaine that maybe he doesn't want to wake up to the harsh reality that was his cheating and the breakup. A trust that was broken, maybe beyond repair.

But, that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was someone, who was Kurt's biggest bully, had once weaved back into his life. It didn't take long to figure out what had happened and why Kurt felt so upset and shaky.

"Then when you manage to get my shirt off, you trail kisses down my chest and up towards my neck." Blaine said, a lump forming in his throat at the mention of the memory of a easier time. When things were simpler, when they relationship came as naturally as breathing.

Kurt's breathing was getting heavier as each minute passed. Blaine's voice lulled him to sleep and soon a soft snore escaped his lips.

Blaine had to call Rachel first thing in the morning, telling her to keep an eye on Kurt for a few days. But for now, he lays the laptop by his side and just this once, he pretends the blanket he's wrapped around himself is Kurt's arms snaked around his waist.

* * *

A/N: I need all the comfort I could get right now. I hope you enjoyed reading this.


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